Love Yourself, It’s Better to Be Alone Than With Someone Who Isn’t Right for You

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Sometimes a TV show isn’t just entertainment, it becomes a mirror.

I recently watched a Chinese reality show that made me stop and think deeply about love, care, and what it really means to be with the right person.

There was a couple who had been together for eight years. They broke up and got back together many times. The man often said “I’m sorry,” but his actions never changed. He kept forgetting her favorite flower, ignored her feelings, and kept her waiting for a marriage that never happened.

He proposed to her, and she became his fiancée, but four years passed and they still weren’t married. Eventually, even her mother lost hope. She asked him if he had ever saved money for their wedding.

He said no.

When the woman fell ill, facing thyroid and eye surgeries, he stayed with her once, then left her to handle everything alone. She spent a year fighting illness, fear, and loneliness. She even defended him, saying he was a tough guy who didn’t like to talk about pain, like when he broke his leg and didn’t tell anyone. She thought maybe he expected her to be strong like him.

But I kept wondering, what was he thinking? Did he understand how terrifying it is to face eye surgery, the fear of possibly not being able to see again? When she was sick and alone, did he ever imagine what it felt like to face that pain without anyone by her side?

In daily life, she carried the relationship almost by herself , moving houses, cooking, and so on. She even cared for his parents. But wait, what did he do for her? He would complain about the cost when they went out for meals, yet spent freely on his own hobbies.

He once said he had bought her a house as a Christmas present, but it was under his name because of the installment. He said he didn’t want her to feel “burdened.” But if it’s not shared, can you really call it a gift for her? Shouldn’t love be something you build together?

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Later, he mentioned had bought an insurance policy for her.

But in fact, he had bought it for himself, and she was only listed as the beneficiary.

That means if she gets sick or injured, she can’t make any claims, because the policy doesn’t cover her at all. It only benefits her if something happens to him and he could remove her from it anytime without telling her. So when he said he bought it “for her,” it felt misleading. It made me wonder, what was he really trying to do? Was it an act of care, or just a way to look caring without truly being so? It felt confusing and distant, not the kind of open care that real partners share..

At one moment, I actually agreed with the lady. I also thought he might be innocent, someone who just didn’t know how to express love

But after seeing how he handled things, the house, the surgeries, the insurance. I started to feel that he was acting. His words seemed soft, but his actions felt empty, a bit like everything he did was just on the surface.

The most heartbreaking part was watching her still defend him. She called him innocent, like a child who didn’t know how to love. She kept forgiving him, hoping that one day he’d change.

But some people lack love for so long that even a small bit of warmth feels like hope.

They tell themselves, “He’s trying,” “He means well,” even as their heart keeps breaking.

Watching her story made me realize something.

When you’re always the one understanding, forgiving, and trying, that’s not love. That’s exhaustion dressed up as loyalty.

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Real love isn’t about saying “sorry.” It’s about showing change.

And if someone keeps hurting you, apologizing, but never learns, then the most loving thing you can do is to walk away.

To everyone who has loved someone that didn’t love them back the same way, please remember, you don’t have to keep proving your worth.

Love yourself first.

The right person will never make you beg for attention or care.

Sometimes being alone is far better than being with someone who makes you feel lonely.

I cried watching her. I saw strength, pain, and hope all mixed together.

I’m her fan, and I truly hope she realizes her own worth. 💖

mouth breather vs nose breather

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQEkDo0E-2a/?igsh=NTZwM28yeWhoZjdw

I have been a mouth breather since childhood due to allergies, which often led to persistent sinus blockages. These blockages sometimes caused pain that radiated from my cheeks to my jaw, and even occasionally affected my eye bones. For many years, I did not understand the cause of these issues. I had seen doctors before, but usually only during bouts of flu, and the diagnosis would often be that it was normal during a cold or flu. Last year, I experienced recurrent ear infections accompanied by pain when hearing high-pitched sounds. I sought medical evaluation again, and this time a doctor diagnosed me with sinus problems and prescribed treatment to clear the blockages, which successfully resolved the infections. The doctor also advised me to learn more about managing my allergies and to seek medication from his clinic whenever sinus problems arise. After years of relying on mouth breathing, I realized I had forgotten how to breathe properly through my nose. Since then, I have been actively learning and practicing nasal breathing to restore proper function. Thank God for the clarity and progress.

🎶 From Notes to Music — Practice, Mark, Play!

Recently, I’ve been having some difficulties practicing songs on the piano. Then I came across these words — Practice, Mark, Play — and they really encouraged me. So I’m going to follow them: 🎼 PRACTICE → Go through the notes slowly carefully. ✏️ MARK → Mark the rhythm, fingering, or tricky parts on your score. 🎹 PLAY → Put everything together — play the full piece smoothly. Step by step, I’ll keep improving. 💪 Nothing is impossible! 🌟

Discovering Imagine Dragons

I was just surfing through YouTube when I came across a short video of the Imagine Dragons lead singer, Dan Reynolds, performing “Thunder” with some amazing dance moves. It was absolutely mesmerizing.

That got me curious, so I searched for the full song and while listening, I realized that “Believer” is also their song. That’s when it hit me that so many songs I’ve loved over the years are actually by Imagine Dragons.

I’ve completely fallen in love with their music now. Their energy, emotion, and unique sound are just incredible. Each song feels powerful and full of meaning, whether it’s about strength, pain, or self-discovery. Their music always gives me this burst of motivation and positivity, no matter what kind of mood I’m in.

Imagine Dragons have this amazing ability to mix deep lyrics with catchy beats that stay in your head for days. It’s more than just music, it’s a feeling that connects straight to the heart.

Here are some of their songs that I really love:

🎵 Believer – About turning pain into power and learning from struggles.

🎵 Thunder – A reminder to stay true to yourself and chase your dreams, no matter what others think.

🎵 Whatever It Takes – All about pushing through challenges and doing whatever it takes to succeed.

🎵 On Top of the World – A cheerful, uplifting song that celebrates perseverance and joy.

🎵 Warriors – Dedicated to those who never give up and keep fighting for their dreams.

🎵 Bad Liar – A more emotional song about honesty, heartbreak, and pretending to be okay when you’re not.

🎵 Demons – A heartfelt song about inner struggles and learning to face the darker parts of ourselves.

🎵 Radioactive – A powerful, intense track about transformation and awakening to a new, stronger version of yourself.

Their music has something for every mood, whether I need motivation, comfort, or just a song that understands what I’m feeling.

And I have to say, I absolutely love Dan Reynolds. His voice, stage presence, and passion make every song feel alive. You can see how much heart he puts into every performance, and that’s what makes Imagine Dragons so special to me.

My living stone aka Liptops

My Living Stones 

If you’ve ever grown Lithops, you know how much patience they demand. These tiny “living stones” from South Africa can take years to flower, but when they finally do, it feels like a small miracle in your garden.And yes, they can bloom beautifully even here in Malaysia and Im still learning .

🌱 Getting Back My Lithops Habit

I used to have a lot of Lithops years ago, but I neglected them and eventually lost all of them. At that time, life was overwhelming. My mom was sick, I was busy taking care of her flowers, cooking, working, and looking after my dogs. It was also a period when I was impatient and had no time for myself.

Now I have slowly found my way back to the things I love. Even though life is still full with work from 8 to 5, crochet, piano classes, and my dogs, I have started growing Lithops again. It feels peaceful to return to this quiet little habit that teaches patience and calmness.

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🪴 I got My Clearance Lithops 

I got around eight Lithops from a clearance deal. Most of them looked elongated or dehydrated, but that was not a problem for me.

Elongated ones can recover once they grow new leaves, and dehydrated ones just need patience. I love giving them time to adjust to their new soil and environment.

These are the Lithops I bought from the clearance deal. It took about three to four months for them to plump up, and now there are no more wrinkles on their leaves. Watching them slowly return to health was such a rewarding process.

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🌞 Growing Lithops in Malaysia’s Humid Climate

Malaysia’s weather is very different from the dry deserts where Lithops naturally grow, so caring for them here takes a little extra effort.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my experience.

1. Choose the right soil mix

I use a fast-draining mix made up of about 80 to 90 percent inorganic materials such as pumice, akadama, lava rock, or coarse sand.

Avoid peat or coco peat because they hold too much moisture. I prefer more inorganic materials because the soil dries faster and prevents rot.

2. Give them bright, indirect sunlight

Too much harsh afternoon sun can scorch them, but they still need plenty of light.

I keep mine in a bright spot where they get gentle morning sun, which is perfect for healthy growth.

3. Water sparingly

Overwatering is the quickest way to kill Lithops. I love watering plants, but I’ve learned that too much care can sometimes harm them.

That is why I use more inorganic materials so the soil dries quickly even after soaking. Normally, if I water today, the soil is already dry by the next day.

I only water when the leaves wrinkle slightly, usually once every few weeks, and I stop completely during dormancy, which starts after flowering.

My seller once told me to continue watering lightly when the flowers start forming until the new pair of leaves begins to grow, and that advice has worked well for me.

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🌸 The Moment They Bloomed

Lithops grow slowly, so I decided to buy a flowering one from my favorite plant seller. Within a few days, it opened into a bright yellow flower that looked like a tiny desert sun glowing among the stones.

It was not as bright as I imagined, which was a little disappointing, but still beautiful in its own quiet way.

Seeing that small bloom felt rewarding. It showed that even in Malaysia’s tropical weather, with patience and proper care, Lithops can adapt and thrive.

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🌿 Tips for Encouraging Flowers

Provide a cool and dry rest period after summer.

Stop watering once the old leaves start to shrink and let the new pair grow naturally.

Keep a consistent light schedule.

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✨ Final Thoughts

These little succulents teach me that beauty does not need to be big or fast. Sometimes it hides quietly in the simplest, stone-like forms.

If you are in Malaysia and wondering whether Lithops can survive here, the answer is yes. They may not look as solid or bright as those from their native deserts, but they can still bloom beautifully and bring joy to your space

Buried Anger, Lingering Love

Recently, there has been so much shocking news. One story caught my attention, not because of the story itself, but because of a comment beneath it.

He said his family also went through hardship, yet they endured. Four people, one breadwinner.

It made me think. During the old generation, such struggles were common. People then were tough, perhaps too tough. But today, many seem unable to bear even half the weight. Maybe their hardship is different, or maybe they have never truly known what it means to survive with nothing but will.

And then I ask God in silence. Why still give pain, when life is already so hard? Why must You continue to test? Why not be more gentle with those who are already tired?

Deep inside me, something has been buried for years.

I always wanted to love my grandma, yet her actions left me disappointed, and the people I love deeply hurt.

I thought I would not shed a tear when she passed away, but in that moment, tears fell anyway.

They told me she didn’t deserve them, and maybe they were right. But I couldn’t stop.

It was a strange mix of love and anger.

I hated her for always wounding us, yet part of me still remembered the times she showed kindness.

Still, she never truly treated us as family.

When it came to money, she would appear loud, demanding, as if we owed her something.

My dad, being a filial son, would be unhappy to hear me say this.

But I have kept this inside for too long.

The anger, buried beneath the love, has stayed in my heart for more than ten years.

Her words still echo in my mind.

I have tried to forget, but the harder I try, the deeper they carve into me.

Perhaps I do not need to forget.

Perhaps they exist to remind me of what unfairness, favoritism, greed, and selfish love look like.

Now I feel relief that my family, especially my dad, no longer has to live under her control.

She never valued him, but we do.

We will give him the love, peace, and warmth that he always deserved but never received.

They say we need to forgive those who have passed so that they may rest in peace in the other world.

But I am sorry, I simply cannot.

I do hope they move on, and that the ties are finally cut,

so that we, too, can move forward without the weight of the past.

I still wish my grandma peace…

but I also pray she remains far from us in the next life.

The Lifelong Commitment of Having Pets

If I had been taught earlier that having a dog isn’t simple, that it’s not just about feeding, but also about cleaning, bathing, spending time with them, visiting the vet, preventing ticks, spaying or neutering, and so much more, I might have chosen to donate instead. Having a dog is like caring for a baby, one that stays a baby forever.

I truly admire and applaud shelters that dedicate their energy and kindness to caring for these animals.

After all, I made the choice to adopt back in 2017, and I’ll continue to care for them until the end of their lives. To be honest, I do think of giving up sometimes, but my heart doesn’t allow it.

Dear God, please have mercy on us. Let everything go smoothly. Let them live happily and without obstacles. Life is already hard enough. Please be merciful to us as well, as we are truly using all our energy to take care of them.

P/s: I have 4 dogs .below photo , is one of my dogs , who is sick . Next Monday will be her floor up.blood test please mercy to us. 

To the One I Love

 I tremble inside, unsure where to begin,

scared of the storm I carry within.

I know I have hurt you and made you scare,

and each regret cuts deep inside.

When you are  getting sick,

my whole world collapsed, my heart turned weak.

Yet through the wisdom of love I found a way,

to rise again, braver each day.

I do not know when impatience grew,

when I turned inward and away from you.

I thought I was learning to love myself more,

but instead I closed the very door

to the patience, kindness, and gentle care

that you deserve, so loyal, so rare.

The old me was too weak, too small.

I was fed up with being pushed by all.

For years I longed and wished to change,

to break the chains and rearrange.

But when I tried, it twisted wrong,

and what I became feels far too strong.

Perhaps I held it in too long,

and it exploded on you where it does not belong.

I lost my self-esteem and isolated my days.

I spent long years trying to find new ways.

I shaped myself into someone I came to hate,

yet in that hollow shell I felt strangely light of weight,

no longer haunted by the thought I had hurt a soul,

a quiet that cost more than it made me whole.

At times my anger fell on you,

though it hurt me just as it hurt you too.

I promise, my love, I will learn, I will change,

together our hearts we will rearrange.

Give me your trust, do not turn away,

we will rise again, in a brighter day.

Because of my carelessness, you became unwell,

and that is a sorrow too heavy to tell.

I never wished for you to suffer this way.

I beg for your strength with each passing day.

Please God, help her, I humbly pray.

Heal her mentally and physically without delay.

So give me time and trust in me.

I will grow into who I am meant to be.

And when my healing is finally through,

I will love you deeper, brighter, and true.

This is my vow, my endless plea,

to cherish you whole, eternally.

Through storm and trial, loss and gain,

my love for you will still remain.

With patience, kindness, and faith above,

we will walk this life in endless love.

When Thoughts Become a Storm

There is a silent tug of war inside my mind, pulling me in different directions until it leaves me with a headache.

1. Money

Commitments always seem heavier than my income. No matter how frugal I am, it never feels like enough.

2. Dogs

My dogs are my joy, yet also my challenge. Even at 7, 8, and 9 years old, they remain as naughty as ever. I just wish they wouldn’t bite so easily. Despite the stress, I love them deeply.

3. Job

Six years in the same company have left me feeling stagnant. People tell me I’m underpaid, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m wasting more of my life in a place that doesn’t truly value me.

4. Piano

Every day I practice about three hours: scales, Hanon exercises, assigned pieces, my own favorites like Canon in D and Nv Ren Hua, and sight-reading drills. Still, I struggle with playing both hands together. Sometimes I worry all this effort might be wasted. Yet whenever I touch the school piano, I feel a spark of happiness that makes it all worthwhile.

5. Crochet

Crochet is something I truly enjoy. Sometimes I can spend six hours on it without even realizing the time has passed. Yet I wonder, does that mean I’m too slow? At times I lose count of my stitches, which makes the pattern imperfect and forces me to redo parts of it. I get impatient with myself, but even then, I still love the process. Deep down, I hope one day I can turn this passion into a small source of income, even if I haven’t figured out how to begin.

This constant push and pull between negative and positive thoughts is exhausting.

But writing it out, letting the words spill, helps me breathe again. After I rant, something shifts inside. I feel lighter, clearer, and ready to continue my routine.

Piano, crochet, even small attempts at farming.these are not just hobbies. They are seeds, little paths I’m exploring so I won’t always have to depend on my job. Maybe I’ve lost time, but I’ve also woken up to the truth that I need to find my own way.

I don’t know exactly where these paths will lead, but at least I am walking. And maybe one day, things will change.