Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.
Sometimes a TV show isn’t just entertainment, it becomes a mirror.
I recently watched a Chinese reality show that made me stop and think deeply about love, care, and what it really means to be with the right person.
There was a couple who had been together for eight years. They broke up and got back together many times. The man often said “I’m sorry,” but his actions never changed. He kept forgetting her favorite flower, ignored her feelings, and kept her waiting for a marriage that never happened.
He proposed to her, and she became his fiancée, but four years passed and they still weren’t married. Eventually, even her mother lost hope. She asked him if he had ever saved money for their wedding.
He said no.
When the woman fell ill, facing thyroid and eye surgeries, he stayed with her once, then left her to handle everything alone. She spent a year fighting illness, fear, and loneliness. She even defended him, saying he was a tough guy who didn’t like to talk about pain, like when he broke his leg and didn’t tell anyone. She thought maybe he expected her to be strong like him.
But I kept wondering, what was he thinking? Did he understand how terrifying it is to face eye surgery, the fear of possibly not being able to see again? When she was sick and alone, did he ever imagine what it felt like to face that pain without anyone by her side?
In daily life, she carried the relationship almost by herself , moving houses, cooking, and so on. She even cared for his parents. But wait, what did he do for her? He would complain about the cost when they went out for meals, yet spent freely on his own hobbies.
He once said he had bought her a house as a Christmas present, but it was under his name because of the installment. He said he didn’t want her to feel “burdened.” But if it’s not shared, can you really call it a gift for her? Shouldn’t love be something you build together?
Later, he mentioned had bought an insurance policy for her.
But in fact, he had bought it for himself, and she was only listed as the beneficiary.
That means if she gets sick or injured, she can’t make any claims, because the policy doesn’t cover her at all. It only benefits her if something happens to him and he could remove her from it anytime without telling her. So when he said he bought it “for her,” it felt misleading. It made me wonder, what was he really trying to do? Was it an act of care, or just a way to look caring without truly being so? It felt confusing and distant, not the kind of open care that real partners share..
At one moment, I actually agreed with the lady. I also thought he might be innocent, someone who just didn’t know how to express love
But after seeing how he handled things, the house, the surgeries, the insurance. I started to feel that he was acting. His words seemed soft, but his actions felt empty, a bit like everything he did was just on the surface.
The most heartbreaking part was watching her still defend him. She called him innocent, like a child who didn’t know how to love. She kept forgiving him, hoping that one day he’d change.
But some people lack love for so long that even a small bit of warmth feels like hope.
They tell themselves, “He’s trying,” “He means well,” even as their heart keeps breaking.
Watching her story made me realize something.
When you’re always the one understanding, forgiving, and trying, that’s not love. That’s exhaustion dressed up as loyalty.
Real love isn’t about saying “sorry.” It’s about showing change.
And if someone keeps hurting you, apologizing, but never learns, then the most loving thing you can do is to walk away.
To everyone who has loved someone that didn’t love them back the same way, please remember, you don’t have to keep proving your worth.
Love yourself first.
The right person will never make you beg for attention or care.
Sometimes being alone is far better than being with someone who makes you feel lonely.
I cried watching her. I saw strength, pain, and hope all mixed together.
I’m her fan, and I truly hope she realizes her own worth. 💖
