step by step

I always tell my little niece, ‘Step by step. Don’t run yet. Walk slowly, and when you’re big enough and steady enough to stand on your own, then you can run.’ Watching her grow, I realize I need to remind myself of the same thing. Sometimes life makes us want to run before we’re ready. But even when everything feels like it’s falling apart, maybe all we can do is take it one step at a time. Eventually, we’ll be strong enough to run again

Mind displine

I always test myself by resting, just to see whether it’s my body that’s exhausted or my mind.

Sometimes I keep pushing myself and keeping my mind busy, so I don’t have time to think about being tired. When I don’t focus on the tiredness, somehow my body doesn’t feel as tired either.

Resting somehow makes me feel even more exhausted… perhaps I need to train my mind to be stronger. I use things like crystals or other beliefs to make myself feel better but never really work so I keep on purchasing . The reason why it doesn't work it is  because I don’t really believe in them. Thus, I just need to train my own mind and see how much control it has over how I feel.

The wake up call

The incident was a wake up call.

I never thought I could feel that much hurt after years of doing everything wholeheartedly. I cried from 2 p.m. until 4 a.m., until I could barely open my eyes.

I've never felt so humiliated. Being misunderstood and judged hurt more than words can describe.

Perhaps even if I had been given the chance, I would have remained silent. Some people have already decided what they want to believe, and not every misunderstanding needs an explanation.

But God knows the truth. He sees every intention, every silent sacrifice, and every tear. That is enough for me.

Somehow, that pain lit a fire within me. It reminded me that sometimes, when one door closes, another quietly opens. What once felt like the end became the beginning of something I had long set aside.

I have always believed in letting my actions speak louder than my words. I know my worth. I know the values I carry. And I believe the right people will see and appreciate them.

To the person who made that remark, thank you. It hurt more than you may ever know, but it also became the reason I found the strength to move forward.

Sometimes, the hardest moments become the turning points.

my idol ,Steven Gerrard

In my opinion, Steven Gerrard was one of the most complete all-round players football has ever seen. He could defend, create chances, score crucial goals, and inspire his teammates when it mattered most. He was the type of player who could change a game through his determination, leadership, and sheer quality. Growing up, he was always my idol because of his passion, loyalty, and never-give-up mentality. One of the greatest examples of his leadership was in the in Istanbul, when Liverpool came back from 3–0 down against . Gerrard scored the first goal of the comeback and helped ignite belief in the team, leading to one of the greatest comebacks in football history and a famous trophy win. Despite all his achievements, I still believe he is underrated compared to some of the other great midfielders in football history. He is also widely seen as a humble, down-to-earth, and professional leader who always put the team first and stayed true to his roots at . For me, Steven Gerrard is a true football legend, a world-class leader, and one of the greatest captains the game has ever produced. ⚽❤️

The "Middle Ground" of Table Etiquette

For me, it really depends on the venue:

• Convenience Stores & Malls: Just clean up your own mess.
• Fast Food Restaurants: Stack everything neatly on the tray once finished. This makes it much easier for the cleaner to collect. Many fast-food chains  have heavily transitioned to digital self-ordering kiosks and mobile apps. While this technology cuts down lines at the counter, a major side effect is that management often uses it as an excuse to cut down on floor staff. When fewer workers are hired, there is nobody left to handle the dining area, leading to uncleaned tables, overflowing bins, and dirty handwashing stations.

• Full-Service Restaurants: Leave the dishes on the table, but don't scatter bones or tissues everywhere. Instead, put them neatly onto the plate. Most of these places include a service charge anyway. Even if they don't, it is ultimately the restaurant's responsibility to clean up. We shouldn't be expected to clear, wash the plates, and wipe the tables ourselves 

Furthermore, if every customer cleans up completely, will restaurants even hire cleaners anymore? Won't these workers lose their jobs? Leaving the final cleanup to the staff keeps the economic demand alive for low-skilled cleaning jobs. 

Bad Upbringing: Throwing bones on the table, spilling drinks purposefully, and leaving a chaotic, disgusting mess for a low-wage worker to scrub.

Good Upbringing: Bundling your trash tightly, nesting cups, and stacking the tray neatly so the worker can clear it instantly with zero stress. You respect their humanity by making their task as easy as possible, while still letting them do the job they are paid to do.

P.S. Personally, I usually just order Taobao anyway.

tick born diseases

I'm choosing between Bravactor (3 months) and NexGard (1 month) for my 4 dogs.

Last year, one of my dogs was eating fine, then suddenly started vomiting nonstop at night. The next day, she couldn't walk and refused to eat. I was so scared and took her to the vet.

They did a blood test and found liver damage, suspected tick borne disease. I told the vet I didn't see any ticks or fleas, but they explained ticks can drop off and are very hard to spot, and fleas can jump off. Even if you remove a tick, the disease can already be transmitted.

Total treatment cost was around 500, plus follow up blood tests.

Before, I only gave prevention when I saw one or two ticks, but I learned my lesson the hard way. Prevention is much cheaper than treatment.

My vet said if I can't afford monthly prevention for all 4 dogs, I should give it at least once every two months.

Which one causes disease? Ticks, fleas, or both?

Both cause disease, but ticks are much more dangerous. Ticks can cause liver damage, kidney failure, paralysis, and death. That is what happened to my dog. Fleas can cause tapeworms, anemia (blood loss), and severe skin infections. They are less likely to cause sudden life threatening illness like ticks do. So both are bad, but ticks are the bigger killer. Prevention for both is still the best choice.

A kind little stranger

When I was 6 years old, I waited a long time for my mom to pick me up from kindergarten. After a while, even the teacher had gone home, leaving just me and my 4-year-old sister there.

I started crying because I thought my mom didn’t want me anymore.

After some time, a young lady nearby offered to give us a ride home. My sister and I followed her on her motorbike. When we reached home, my mom thanked her. She had simply lost track of time while taking care of the house and my other sibling. After that, she scolded us for following a stranger.

Looking back now, I realize how lucky we were that the young lady was kind and trustworthy.

But that experience stayed with me. Until today, I still don’t like waiting. It makes me feel anxious, like I might be forgotten or abandoned again.

I do hope she and I would meet again one day. I’m not even sure for what purpose… I just want to see her again and say thank you.

And maybe let the younger me know that there are still kind people in this world.

my sinus

Since I was a child, I have struggled with my sinuses. Nights were always the hardest. My nose would block so often that I learned to breathe through my mouth, forgetting what it felt like to breathe normally through my nose. Over time, this became a habit, and even now I catch myself breathing through my mouth more than I realize.

Sleeping has always been a challenge. If I lie down the wrong way, I wake up with my nose blocked, my face aching, and my ears feeling full or painful. Sometimes the pressure in my sinuses triggers a migraine, making it impossible to rest. When I caught a flu, the congestion and pain worsened, bringing facial pressure, ear pain, and that familiar block. I would go to the doctor hoping for relief, but it was hard to explain exactly what I felt. The doctor would say, “It’s normal for the ears to block during a flu.” Some even laughed at me. It made me feel stupid, but I knew my situation was more complicated.

Growing up, we didn’t see a doctor often because my family couldn’t afford it unless it was serious. I also struggled with persistent bad breath. I brushed my teeth, rinsed constantly, and tried everything, but nothing worked. Slowly, I realized the culprit wasn’t my teeth. It was the sinus mucus, silently building up, causing post-nasal drip and that unpleasant smell.

It wasn’t until last year, at 37, that I finally got a proper diagnosis. The doctor told me, “This is sinus-related,” and prescribed medicine from the clinic. That was the first time I understood the root of decades of discomfort. The doctor also suggested I figure out any allergies I might have, another piece of the puzzle I had to manage myself.

Now, I am learning how to breathe through my nose again, though I still don’t fully understand what caused it. I usually let it resolve on its own and only take medicine if it gets serious, like an infection. I often sleep only two to three hours a night because I am afraid of waking up struggling to breathe, and migraines make rest even harder to come by. After this experience, I plan to get a steam inhaler and keep medicine on hand so I can manage my sinus issues and migraines more proactively.

Our Experience at Pasir Panjang: A Lesson About Responsibility and Fairness

We had just finished praying at the Pasir Panjang Tua Pek Gong and were walking back toward the shoplot area outside the temple. We did not enter any of the shops; we were only walking past. My mom was walking backward a little while recording my niece, and beside her was a tall rotating display stand placed outside one of the shops. The stand was positioned outside the yellow line, not fully inside the shop, and it stood on a roller base, which made it unstable.

When my mom stepped back, she accidentally pushed the stand. Because it was on rollers, it slid and fell. The fall was not intentional

it happened because of where and how the stand was placed. We immediately wanted to settle things politely and responsibly.

But before we could explain, the shop’s whole family rushed out. The old man insisted again and again that we needed to pay for the “whole set.” Their kid kept chanting “pay pay” happily beside us. The woman said “lai yi ge yi ge suan,” which sounded like she wanted to charge item by item on the stand.

When I asked how much, the old man said the whole set cost RM1,000. Then he changed and said RM700 for the whole set. This included the display stand and all the crystal bracelets displayed on it. That was when I asked: “Don’t tell me I also need to pay for all the crystal bracelets?” The old man said yes, because it was “a set.”

I told them clearly: if they want full compensation for the whole set, then we should be allowed to take everything including the crystal bracelets. But from their reaction, it felt like they wanted us to fully compensate them while they still kept all the items, which is unfair.

Then the woman changed her approach and said it was not like that. She said we only needed to pay for the damaged part. She asked the old man to switch on the display: the light still worked, but it could not rotate. She then said we only needed to pay for the rotation mechanism or the top cracked part, and they would fix it. The crystal bracelets were all intact.

During this time, my mom tried to explain softly that the stand fell because it was placed on rollers outside the yellow line, making it unstable, but the old man kept saying “no no.” We never refused to pay; we simply wanted fairness.

We believe in taking responsibility, and we were willing to pay for actual damage. But if a shop demands RM700–RM1000 for a “whole set” replacement, then they should provide a purchase invoice showing the true price, year bought, and actual value. If the stand is many years old, charging a new item’s full price is unreasonable. And if they insist on full-price compensation, then logically the entire set should be handed to us, because compensation means we have paid for the item.

This situation reminded us: responsibility must be fair on both sides. Customers should pay what is genuinely damaged, and shop owners should not pressure people with unreasonable charges.