my sinus

Since I was a child, I have struggled with my sinuses. Nights were always the hardest. My nose would block so often that I learned to breathe through my mouth, forgetting what it felt like to breathe normally through my nose. Over time, this became a habit, and even now I catch myself breathing through my mouth more than I realize.

Sleeping has always been a challenge. If I lie down the wrong way, I wake up with my nose blocked, my face aching, and my ears feeling full or painful. Sometimes the pressure in my sinuses triggers a migraine, making it impossible to rest. When I caught a flu, the congestion and pain worsened, bringing facial pressure, ear pain, and that familiar block. I would go to the doctor hoping for relief, but it was hard to explain exactly what I felt. The doctor would say, “It’s normal for the ears to block during a flu.” Some even laughed at me. It made me feel stupid, but I knew my situation was more complicated.

Growing up, we didn’t see a doctor often because my family couldn’t afford it unless it was serious. I also struggled with persistent bad breath. I brushed my teeth, rinsed constantly, and tried everything, but nothing worked. Slowly, I realized the culprit wasn’t my teeth. It was the sinus mucus, silently building up, causing post-nasal drip and that unpleasant smell.

It wasn’t until last year, at 37, that I finally got a proper diagnosis. The doctor told me, “This is sinus-related,” and prescribed medicine from the clinic. That was the first time I understood the root of decades of discomfort. The doctor also suggested I figure out any allergies I might have, another piece of the puzzle I had to manage myself.

Now, I am learning how to breathe through my nose again, though I still don’t fully understand what caused it. I usually let it resolve on its own and only take medicine if it gets serious, like an infection. I often sleep only two to three hours a night because I am afraid of waking up struggling to breathe, and migraines make rest even harder to come by. After this experience, I plan to get a steam inhaler and keep medicine on hand so I can manage my sinus issues and migraines more proactively.

Our Experience at Pasir Panjang: A Lesson About Responsibility and Fairness

We had just finished praying at the Pasir Panjang Tua Pek Gong and were walking back toward the shoplot area outside the temple. We did not enter any of the shops; we were only walking past. My mom was walking backward a little while recording my niece, and beside her was a tall rotating display stand placed outside one of the shops. The stand was positioned outside the yellow line, not fully inside the shop, and it stood on a roller base, which made it unstable.

When my mom stepped back, she accidentally pushed the stand. Because it was on rollers, it slid and fell. The fall was not intentional

it happened because of where and how the stand was placed. We immediately wanted to settle things politely and responsibly.

But before we could explain, the shop’s whole family rushed out. The old man insisted again and again that we needed to pay for the “whole set.” Their kid kept chanting “pay pay” happily beside us. The woman said “lai yi ge yi ge suan,” which sounded like she wanted to charge item by item on the stand.

When I asked how much, the old man said the whole set cost RM1,000. Then he changed and said RM700 for the whole set. This included the display stand and all the crystal bracelets displayed on it. That was when I asked: “Don’t tell me I also need to pay for all the crystal bracelets?” The old man said yes, because it was “a set.”

I told them clearly: if they want full compensation for the whole set, then we should be allowed to take everything including the crystal bracelets. But from their reaction, it felt like they wanted us to fully compensate them while they still kept all the items, which is unfair.

Then the woman changed her approach and said it was not like that. She said we only needed to pay for the damaged part. She asked the old man to switch on the display: the light still worked, but it could not rotate. She then said we only needed to pay for the rotation mechanism or the top cracked part, and they would fix it. The crystal bracelets were all intact.

During this time, my mom tried to explain softly that the stand fell because it was placed on rollers outside the yellow line, making it unstable, but the old man kept saying “no no.” We never refused to pay; we simply wanted fairness.

We believe in taking responsibility, and we were willing to pay for actual damage. But if a shop demands RM700–RM1000 for a “whole set” replacement, then they should provide a purchase invoice showing the true price, year bought, and actual value. If the stand is many years old, charging a new item’s full price is unreasonable. And if they insist on full-price compensation, then logically the entire set should be handed to us, because compensation means we have paid for the item.

This situation reminded us: responsibility must be fair on both sides. Customers should pay what is genuinely damaged, and shop owners should not pressure people with unreasonable charges.

When Fear Arrives Late

When my dog suddenly couldn’t walk, fear rushed through me.

The vet was closing soon.

I didn’t know the road.

I didn’t even have enough money at that moment.

But love made me move faster than my fear.

I borrowed money from my mom, grabbed my keys, and drove out.

Normally I would delay, think too much, or avoid going alone.

But this time, I didn’t think .I just acted.

On the road, I didn’t shake.

My mind focused on the GPS, the traffic, and the hope that I wasn’t too late.

It was as if my body went into survival mode calm, steady, holding everything in.

Only when I reached the vet did the real fear catch up with me.

My hands began to shake as I talked to the doctor.

My fingers felt stiff, like stretched rubber  hard to open, hard to control.

My voice trembled.

And then the tears came, falling faster than I could stop them.

Fear didn’t show up while I was driving.

It arrived only when she was finally safe.

And maybe that’s what love does It makes us strong when we need to move,

and it lets us fall apart only when the emergency is over.

Missing Cheerful Skies

The rain falls for 3days no stop( endlessly), and it brings tears to my eyes. I worry for the floods, for the animals running for safety, and for the homes we have worked so hard to build. I miss the cheerful skies, the warm sunlight, and the calm days that feel like a gentle embrace.

Is the sky sick, or merely tired that it cries for so long? Sometimes, perhaps it hears our quiet wishes and softens, letting a little light through its clouds. We pray for ourselves, yet often forget the sky.

Let us pray together, whether you are busy or just taking a moment of peace. Whenever you look up at the sky, just say hi. Say, “I know you are unhappy, sad, or sick. Please get well. We miss your cheerful smile and bright days.” 

Even a quiet thought can send love and hope to the skies.

Love Yourself, It’s Better to Be Alone Than With Someone Who Isn’t Right for You

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Sometimes a TV show isn’t just entertainment, it becomes a mirror.

I recently watched a Chinese reality show that made me stop and think deeply about love, care, and what it really means to be with the right person.

There was a couple who had been together for eight years. They broke up and got back together many times. The man often said “I’m sorry,” but his actions never changed. He kept forgetting her favorite flower, ignored her feelings, and kept her waiting for a marriage that never happened.

He proposed to her, and she became his fiancée, but four years passed and they still weren’t married. Eventually, even her mother lost hope. She asked him if he had ever saved money for their wedding.

He said no.

When the woman fell ill, facing thyroid and eye surgeries, he stayed with her once, then left her to handle everything alone. She spent a year fighting illness, fear, and loneliness. She even defended him, saying he was a tough guy who didn’t like to talk about pain, like when he broke his leg and didn’t tell anyone. She thought maybe he expected her to be strong like him.

But I kept wondering, what was he thinking? Did he understand how terrifying it is to face eye surgery, the fear of possibly not being able to see again? When she was sick and alone, did he ever imagine what it felt like to face that pain without anyone by her side?

In daily life, she carried the relationship almost by herself , moving houses, cooking, and so on. She even cared for his parents. But wait, what did he do for her? He would complain about the cost when they went out for meals, yet spent freely on his own hobbies.

He once said he had bought her a house as a Christmas present, but it was under his name because of the installment. He said he didn’t want her to feel “burdened.” But if it’s not shared, can you really call it a gift for her? Shouldn’t love be something you build together?

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Later, he mentioned had bought an insurance policy for her.

But in fact, he had bought it for himself, and she was only listed as the beneficiary.

That means if she gets sick or injured, she can’t make any claims, because the policy doesn’t cover her at all. It only benefits her if something happens to him and he could remove her from it anytime without telling her. So when he said he bought it “for her,” it felt misleading. It made me wonder, what was he really trying to do? Was it an act of care, or just a way to look caring without truly being so? It felt confusing and distant, not the kind of open care that real partners share..

At one moment, I actually agreed with the lady. I also thought he might be innocent, someone who just didn’t know how to express love

But after seeing how he handled things, the house, the surgeries, the insurance. I started to feel that he was acting. His words seemed soft, but his actions felt empty, a bit like everything he did was just on the surface.

The most heartbreaking part was watching her still defend him. She called him innocent, like a child who didn’t know how to love. She kept forgiving him, hoping that one day he’d change.

But some people lack love for so long that even a small bit of warmth feels like hope.

They tell themselves, “He’s trying,” “He means well,” even as their heart keeps breaking.

Watching her story made me realize something.

When you’re always the one understanding, forgiving, and trying, that’s not love. That’s exhaustion dressed up as loyalty.

Image source: from a Chinese reality show ,“再见爱人5 (Goodbye My Love 5),” shared here for discussion and reflection only.

Real love isn’t about saying “sorry.” It’s about showing change.

And if someone keeps hurting you, apologizing, but never learns, then the most loving thing you can do is to walk away.

To everyone who has loved someone that didn’t love them back the same way, please remember, you don’t have to keep proving your worth.

Love yourself first.

The right person will never make you beg for attention or care.

Sometimes being alone is far better than being with someone who makes you feel lonely.

I cried watching her. I saw strength, pain, and hope all mixed together.

I’m her fan, and I truly hope she realizes her own worth. 💖

mouth breather vs nose breather

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQEkDo0E-2a/?igsh=NTZwM28yeWhoZjdw

I have been a mouth breather since childhood due to allergies, which often led to persistent sinus blockages. These blockages sometimes caused pain that radiated from my cheeks to my jaw, and even occasionally affected my eye bones. For many years, I did not understand the cause of these issues. I had seen doctors before, but usually only during bouts of flu, and the diagnosis would often be that it was normal during a cold or flu. Last year, I experienced recurrent ear infections accompanied by pain when hearing high-pitched sounds. I sought medical evaluation again, and this time a doctor diagnosed me with sinus problems and prescribed treatment to clear the blockages, which successfully resolved the infections. The doctor also advised me to learn more about managing my allergies and to seek medication from his clinic whenever sinus problems arise. After years of relying on mouth breathing, I realized I had forgotten how to breathe properly through my nose. Since then, I have been actively learning and practicing nasal breathing to restore proper function. Thank God for the clarity and progress.

🎶 From Notes to Music — Practice, Mark, Play!

Recently, I’ve been having some difficulties practicing songs on the piano. Then I came across these words — Practice, Mark, Play — and they really encouraged me. So I’m going to follow them: 🎼 PRACTICE → Go through the notes slowly carefully. ✏️ MARK → Mark the rhythm, fingering, or tricky parts on your score. 🎹 PLAY → Put everything together — play the full piece smoothly. Step by step, I’ll keep improving. 💪 Nothing is impossible! 🌟

Discovering Imagine Dragons

I was just surfing through YouTube when I came across a short video of the Imagine Dragons lead singer, Dan Reynolds, performing “Thunder” with some amazing dance moves. It was absolutely mesmerizing.

That got me curious, so I searched for the full song and while listening, I realized that “Believer” is also their song. That’s when it hit me that so many songs I’ve loved over the years are actually by Imagine Dragons.

I’ve completely fallen in love with their music now. Their energy, emotion, and unique sound are just incredible. Each song feels powerful and full of meaning, whether it’s about strength, pain, or self-discovery. Their music always gives me this burst of motivation and positivity, no matter what kind of mood I’m in.

Imagine Dragons have this amazing ability to mix deep lyrics with catchy beats that stay in your head for days. It’s more than just music, it’s a feeling that connects straight to the heart.

Here are some of their songs that I really love:

🎵 Believer – About turning pain into power and learning from struggles.

🎵 Thunder – A reminder to stay true to yourself and chase your dreams, no matter what others think.

🎵 Whatever It Takes – All about pushing through challenges and doing whatever it takes to succeed.

🎵 On Top of the World – A cheerful, uplifting song that celebrates perseverance and joy.

🎵 Warriors – Dedicated to those who never give up and keep fighting for their dreams.

🎵 Bad Liar – A more emotional song about honesty, heartbreak, and pretending to be okay when you’re not.

🎵 Demons – A heartfelt song about inner struggles and learning to face the darker parts of ourselves.

🎵 Radioactive – A powerful, intense track about transformation and awakening to a new, stronger version of yourself.

Their music has something for every mood, whether I need motivation, comfort, or just a song that understands what I’m feeling.

And I have to say, I absolutely love Dan Reynolds. His voice, stage presence, and passion make every song feel alive. You can see how much heart he puts into every performance, and that’s what makes Imagine Dragons so special to me.

My living stone aka Liptops

My Living Stones 

If you’ve ever grown Lithops, you know how much patience they demand. These tiny “living stones” from South Africa can take years to flower, but when they finally do, it feels like a small miracle in your garden.And yes, they can bloom beautifully even here in Malaysia and Im still learning .

🌱 Getting Back My Lithops Habit

I used to have a lot of Lithops years ago, but I neglected them and eventually lost all of them. At that time, life was overwhelming. My mom was sick, I was busy taking care of her flowers, cooking, working, and looking after my dogs. It was also a period when I was impatient and had no time for myself.

Now I have slowly found my way back to the things I love. Even though life is still full with work from 8 to 5, crochet, piano classes, and my dogs, I have started growing Lithops again. It feels peaceful to return to this quiet little habit that teaches patience and calmness.

---

🪴 I got My Clearance Lithops 

I got around eight Lithops from a clearance deal. Most of them looked elongated or dehydrated, but that was not a problem for me.

Elongated ones can recover once they grow new leaves, and dehydrated ones just need patience. I love giving them time to adjust to their new soil and environment.

These are the Lithops I bought from the clearance deal. It took about three to four months for them to plump up, and now there are no more wrinkles on their leaves. Watching them slowly return to health was such a rewarding process.

---

🌞 Growing Lithops in Malaysia’s Humid Climate

Malaysia’s weather is very different from the dry deserts where Lithops naturally grow, so caring for them here takes a little extra effort.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my experience.

1. Choose the right soil mix

I use a fast-draining mix made up of about 80 to 90 percent inorganic materials such as pumice, akadama, lava rock, or coarse sand.

Avoid peat or coco peat because they hold too much moisture. I prefer more inorganic materials because the soil dries faster and prevents rot.

2. Give them bright, indirect sunlight

Too much harsh afternoon sun can scorch them, but they still need plenty of light.

I keep mine in a bright spot where they get gentle morning sun, which is perfect for healthy growth.

3. Water sparingly

Overwatering is the quickest way to kill Lithops. I love watering plants, but I’ve learned that too much care can sometimes harm them.

That is why I use more inorganic materials so the soil dries quickly even after soaking. Normally, if I water today, the soil is already dry by the next day.

I only water when the leaves wrinkle slightly, usually once every few weeks, and I stop completely during dormancy, which starts after flowering.

My seller once told me to continue watering lightly when the flowers start forming until the new pair of leaves begins to grow, and that advice has worked well for me.

---

🌸 The Moment They Bloomed

Lithops grow slowly, so I decided to buy a flowering one from my favorite plant seller. Within a few days, it opened into a bright yellow flower that looked like a tiny desert sun glowing among the stones.

It was not as bright as I imagined, which was a little disappointing, but still beautiful in its own quiet way.

Seeing that small bloom felt rewarding. It showed that even in Malaysia’s tropical weather, with patience and proper care, Lithops can adapt and thrive.

---

🌿 Tips for Encouraging Flowers

Provide a cool and dry rest period after summer.

Stop watering once the old leaves start to shrink and let the new pair grow naturally.

Keep a consistent light schedule.

---

✨ Final Thoughts

These little succulents teach me that beauty does not need to be big or fast. Sometimes it hides quietly in the simplest, stone-like forms.

If you are in Malaysia and wondering whether Lithops can survive here, the answer is yes. They may not look as solid or bright as those from their native deserts, but they can still bloom beautifully and bring joy to your space

Buried Anger, Lingering Love

Recently, there has been so much shocking news. One story caught my attention, not because of the story itself, but because of a comment beneath it.

He said his family also went through hardship, yet they endured. Four people, one breadwinner.

It made me think. During the old generation, such struggles were common. People then were tough, perhaps too tough. But today, many seem unable to bear even half the weight. Maybe their hardship is different, or maybe they have never truly known what it means to survive with nothing but will.

And then I ask God in silence. Why still give pain, when life is already so hard? Why must You continue to test? Why not be more gentle with those who are already tired?

Deep inside me, something has been buried for years.

I always wanted to love my grandma, yet her actions left me disappointed, and the people I love deeply hurt.

I thought I would not shed a tear when she passed away, but in that moment, tears fell anyway.

They told me she didn’t deserve them, and maybe they were right. But I couldn’t stop.

It was a strange mix of love and anger.

I hated her for always wounding us, yet part of me still remembered the times she showed kindness.

Still, she never truly treated us as family.

When it came to money, she would appear loud, demanding, as if we owed her something.

My dad, being a filial son, would be unhappy to hear me say this.

But I have kept this inside for too long.

The anger, buried beneath the love, has stayed in my heart for more than ten years.

Her words still echo in my mind.

I have tried to forget, but the harder I try, the deeper they carve into me.

Perhaps I do not need to forget.

Perhaps they exist to remind me of what unfairness, favoritism, greed, and selfish love look like.

Now I feel relief that my family, especially my dad, no longer has to live under her control.

She never valued him, but we do.

We will give him the love, peace, and warmth that he always deserved but never received.

They say we need to forgive those who have passed so that they may rest in peace in the other world.

But I am sorry, I simply cannot.

I do hope they move on, and that the ties are finally cut,

so that we, too, can move forward without the weight of the past.

I still wish my grandma peace…

but I also pray she remains far from us in the next life.

The Lifelong Commitment of Having Pets

If I had been taught earlier that having a dog isn’t simple, that it’s not just about feeding, but also about cleaning, bathing, spending time with them, visiting the vet, preventing ticks, spaying or neutering, and so much more, I might have chosen to donate instead. Having a dog is like caring for a baby, one that stays a baby forever.

I truly admire and applaud shelters that dedicate their energy and kindness to caring for these animals.

After all, I made the choice to adopt back in 2017, and I’ll continue to care for them until the end of their lives. To be honest, I do think of giving up sometimes, but my heart doesn’t allow it.

Dear God, please have mercy on us. Let everything go smoothly. Let them live happily and without obstacles. Life is already hard enough. Please be merciful to us as well, as we are truly using all our energy to take care of them.

P/s: I have 4 dogs .below photo , is one of my dogs , who is sick . Next Monday will be her floor up.blood test please mercy to us. 

To the One I Love

 I tremble inside, unsure where to begin,

scared of the storm I carry within.

I know I have hurt you and made you scare,

and each regret cuts deep inside.

When you are  getting sick,

my whole world collapsed, my heart turned weak.

Yet through the wisdom of love I found a way,

to rise again, braver each day.

I do not know when impatience grew,

when I turned inward and away from you.

I thought I was learning to love myself more,

but instead I closed the very door

to the patience, kindness, and gentle care

that you deserve, so loyal, so rare.

The old me was too weak, too small.

I was fed up with being pushed by all.

For years I longed and wished to change,

to break the chains and rearrange.

But when I tried, it twisted wrong,

and what I became feels far too strong.

Perhaps I held it in too long,

and it exploded on you where it does not belong.

I lost my self-esteem and isolated my days.

I spent long years trying to find new ways.

I shaped myself into someone I came to hate,

yet in that hollow shell I felt strangely light of weight,

no longer haunted by the thought I had hurt a soul,

a quiet that cost more than it made me whole.

At times my anger fell on you,

though it hurt me just as it hurt you too.

I promise, my love, I will learn, I will change,

together our hearts we will rearrange.

Give me your trust, do not turn away,

we will rise again, in a brighter day.

Because of my carelessness, you became unwell,

and that is a sorrow too heavy to tell.

I never wished for you to suffer this way.

I beg for your strength with each passing day.

Please God, help her, I humbly pray.

Heal her mentally and physically without delay.

So give me time and trust in me.

I will grow into who I am meant to be.

And when my healing is finally through,

I will love you deeper, brighter, and true.

This is my vow, my endless plea,

to cherish you whole, eternally.

Through storm and trial, loss and gain,

my love for you will still remain.

With patience, kindness, and faith above,

we will walk this life in endless love.

When Thoughts Become a Storm

There is a silent tug of war inside my mind, pulling me in different directions until it leaves me with a headache.

1. Money

Commitments always seem heavier than my income. No matter how frugal I am, it never feels like enough.

2. Dogs

My dogs are my joy, yet also my challenge. Even at 7, 8, and 9 years old, they remain as naughty as ever. I just wish they wouldn’t bite so easily. Despite the stress, I love them deeply.

3. Job

Six years in the same company have left me feeling stagnant. People tell me I’m underpaid, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m wasting more of my life in a place that doesn’t truly value me.

4. Piano

Every day I practice about three hours: scales, Hanon exercises, assigned pieces, my own favorites like Canon in D and Nv Ren Hua, and sight-reading drills. Still, I struggle with playing both hands together. Sometimes I worry all this effort might be wasted. Yet whenever I touch the school piano, I feel a spark of happiness that makes it all worthwhile.

5. Crochet

Crochet is something I truly enjoy. Sometimes I can spend six hours on it without even realizing the time has passed. Yet I wonder, does that mean I’m too slow? At times I lose count of my stitches, which makes the pattern imperfect and forces me to redo parts of it. I get impatient with myself, but even then, I still love the process. Deep down, I hope one day I can turn this passion into a small source of income, even if I haven’t figured out how to begin.

This constant push and pull between negative and positive thoughts is exhausting.

But writing it out, letting the words spill, helps me breathe again. After I rant, something shifts inside. I feel lighter, clearer, and ready to continue my routine.

Piano, crochet, even small attempts at farming.these are not just hobbies. They are seeds, little paths I’m exploring so I won’t always have to depend on my job. Maybe I’ve lost time, but I’ve also woken up to the truth that I need to find my own way.

I don’t know exactly where these paths will lead, but at least I am walking. And maybe one day, things will change.

A long journey: Propagating zz plant (zamioculcas zamiifolia)

i love propagating because seeing it grow gives me joy. the progress is small, but the satisfaction is big. zz propagation is very slow, but it teaches me to wait calmly. it shows me that slow growth can bring real satisfaction 

simple. step by step. short lines. easy to follow.

Oh ya ,there are two method . One is progating though water and the other is though soil. I have try both but I prefer water as I can see its progress 

method A — leaf in water (easy to watch)

1. pick a healthy leaf with its little stalk (petiole).

2. cut cleanly near the base.

3. let the cut end dry 12–24 hours (callus).

4. put leaf upright in a jar with just the tip of the petiole in water. don’t submerge the whole leaf.

5. change water when seeing the water turn cloudy.keep jar in bright, indirect light.

6. wait for tiny roots then little rhizome. when roots 1–2 cm, pot into soil.

tips: if using water, you need to change the water often because it can turn cloudy and cause the leaf to rot. you can also put a little piece of aloe vera in the water, as it helps prevent rotting.

method B — leaf in soil (more reliable long-term)

1. cut leaf + petiole. let dry 12–24 hours.

2. prepare small pot with well-draining mix. make a shallow hole.

3. insert petiole into soil so base just covered. firm gently.

4. water lightly once after planting. then keep soil slightly moist but not wet.

5. place in bright, indirect light.

6. wait for  shoots and rhizomes form slowly under soil.

tips: avoid overwatering. Overwatering will rot.

P/s: most of the time the leaf will eventually turn brown. that is natural. the leaf gives its stored energy to the rhizome. after that, the rhizome can push out a new stem. At first i thought it was dead when the leaf turned brown. but luckily it was not.As long as  rhizome was still healthy, it will soon grow a new stem (green leaf → roots → brown leaf → new shoot).  I also learned not to use a big pot. a small pot works better because the soil dries more evenly and helps the zz root stronger.

care after propagation

light: bright, indirect. avoid long sun.

water: let top 1–2 cm dry between waterings. zz hates wet feet.

temp: normal home temps are fine 

feed: wait until new growth, then light feed once a month in growing season.

pot size: small pot helps root development. don’t oversize.

after years, it grew this big.

this pot, i am not sure which method i used, because i planted three cuttings in it.

this one stayed with me, and the other pot i kept at my dad’s house.

i tried both methods, water and soil, and both were successful.

water propagation is slower, but it still works.

Hope you enjoy whichever method you choose. happy planting.

oh ya, in chinese feng shui, the zz plant is called “fortune tree.” it is believed to bring wealth, luck, and steady growth, just like its strong leaves and rhizomes.

I’m Back After 10 Years

Hello everyone 

It’s been a very long time since my last post in 2014. Life has taken me through so many twists and turns over the past decade, and today I finally feel ready to share a little piece of that journey here again.

The main reason I didn’t blog all these years was because I lost access to my Google account due to an unrecognized device. In 2016 I went through a trauma that carried on until 2022. Because of it, I changed my phone number and eventually terminated the old one in 2019. Without that number, I couldn’t recover my account.

On Sunday, September 7, 2025, I finally managed to get my number back and with it I regained access to this blog. After everything, it feels like a small miracle to be here writing again.

Here are some of the highlights and heartaches from the years away:

1. I owned a dog, but sadly lost her in April 2017. That loss was painful, but it opened the door to something unexpected.

2. I adopted a stray, and somehow that led me to caring for four dogs in total. My house has been full of wagging tails and endless love.

3. I changed jobs twice, and now I’ve been in my current role for more than six years. Honestly, it feels like a miracle to have such stability.

4. One incident that left a mark on me was when I accidentally hit a stray dog. I rushed to get help from a vet, treated its skin condition, made sure it was spayed, and supported its care for three years. Sadly, she later passed away after being hit by a lorry. I cannot count how many buckets of tears I have shed through the years.

5. In January 2024 I started piano lessons. By August I had already reached Grade 2 ABRSM with merit. Now I’m continuing my practice and saving up to buy my first digital piano.

6. Around 2024 I picked up crochet. At first, it was full of trial and error, so I set it aside. But in June 2025 I returned to it and found peace in the process. Sometimes I crochet for six hours straight, yet it feels like only one hour has passed. That’s how much joy it brings me.

7. These years, I’ve also been struggling with migraine. It still comes knocking on my door. For a time, changing medicine worked, but eventually my body got used to it and the doctor had to switch me to another. Now I’m trying not to rely too much on medicine. When the pain comes, sometimes it brings endless tears, but I still want to make changes and not give up.

8. Along the way, I also chose Buddhism as my religion. The reason I got to know it is because my mom fell and was unable to walk for long periods. I started to pray, but at first it didn’t seem to help—maybe I wasn’t sincere enough. Later, I went to a Chinese temple and prayed, and the next day her condition improved. Some may call it a coincidence, but I choose to believe in it and have deep respect for the practice. I also follow Green Tara, a revered figure who embodies compassion and protection. Her guidance has given me strength and a sense of peace through many challenges.

Looking back, these years were full of love, loss, healing, learning, and little miracles. I may have been away from this blog, but life was never quiet.

I’m back now, and I hope to share more of my journey, my hobbies, and maybe some reflections along the way. If you’ve read this far, thank you for being here. 💙