My living stone aka Liptops

My Living Stones 

If you’ve ever grown Lithops, you know how much patience they demand. These tiny “living stones” from South Africa can take years to flower, but when they finally do, it feels like a small miracle in your garden.And yes, they can bloom beautifully even here in Malaysia and Im still learning .

🌱 Getting Back My Lithops Habit

I used to have a lot of Lithops years ago, but I neglected them and eventually lost all of them. At that time, life was overwhelming. My mom was sick, I was busy taking care of her flowers, cooking, working, and looking after my dogs. It was also a period when I was impatient and had no time for myself.

Now I have slowly found my way back to the things I love. Even though life is still full with work from 8 to 5, crochet, piano classes, and my dogs, I have started growing Lithops again. It feels peaceful to return to this quiet little habit that teaches patience and calmness.

---

🪴 I got My Clearance Lithops 

I got around eight Lithops from a clearance deal. Most of them looked elongated or dehydrated, but that was not a problem for me.

Elongated ones can recover once they grow new leaves, and dehydrated ones just need patience. I love giving them time to adjust to their new soil and environment.

These are the Lithops I bought from the clearance deal. It took about three to four months for them to plump up, and now there are no more wrinkles on their leaves. Watching them slowly return to health was such a rewarding process.

---

🌞 Growing Lithops in Malaysia’s Humid Climate

Malaysia’s weather is very different from the dry deserts where Lithops naturally grow, so caring for them here takes a little extra effort.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my experience.

1. Choose the right soil mix

I use a fast-draining mix made up of about 80 to 90 percent inorganic materials such as pumice, akadama, lava rock, or coarse sand.

Avoid peat or coco peat because they hold too much moisture. I prefer more inorganic materials because the soil dries faster and prevents rot.

2. Give them bright, indirect sunlight

Too much harsh afternoon sun can scorch them, but they still need plenty of light.

I keep mine in a bright spot where they get gentle morning sun, which is perfect for healthy growth.

3. Water sparingly

Overwatering is the quickest way to kill Lithops. I love watering plants, but I’ve learned that too much care can sometimes harm them.

That is why I use more inorganic materials so the soil dries quickly even after soaking. Normally, if I water today, the soil is already dry by the next day.

I only water when the leaves wrinkle slightly, usually once every few weeks, and I stop completely during dormancy, which starts after flowering.

My seller once told me to continue watering lightly when the flowers start forming until the new pair of leaves begins to grow, and that advice has worked well for me.

---

🌸 The Moment They Bloomed

Lithops grow slowly, so I decided to buy a flowering one from my favorite plant seller. Within a few days, it opened into a bright yellow flower that looked like a tiny desert sun glowing among the stones.

It was not as bright as I imagined, which was a little disappointing, but still beautiful in its own quiet way.

Seeing that small bloom felt rewarding. It showed that even in Malaysia’s tropical weather, with patience and proper care, Lithops can adapt and thrive.

---

🌿 Tips for Encouraging Flowers

Provide a cool and dry rest period after summer.

Stop watering once the old leaves start to shrink and let the new pair grow naturally.

Keep a consistent light schedule.

---

✨ Final Thoughts

These little succulents teach me that beauty does not need to be big or fast. Sometimes it hides quietly in the simplest, stone-like forms.

If you are in Malaysia and wondering whether Lithops can survive here, the answer is yes. They may not look as solid or bright as those from their native deserts, but they can still bloom beautifully and bring joy to your space

Buried Anger, Lingering Love

Recently, there has been so much shocking news. One story caught my attention, not because of the story itself, but because of a comment beneath it.

He said his family also went through hardship, yet they endured. Four people, one breadwinner.

It made me think. During the old generation, such struggles were common. People then were tough, perhaps too tough. But today, many seem unable to bear even half the weight. Maybe their hardship is different, or maybe they have never truly known what it means to survive with nothing but will.

And then I ask God in silence. Why still give pain, when life is already so hard? Why must You continue to test? Why not be more gentle with those who are already tired?

Deep inside me, something has been buried for years.

I always wanted to love my grandma, yet her actions left me disappointed, and the people I love deeply hurt.

I thought I would not shed a tear when she passed away, but in that moment, tears fell anyway.

They told me she didn’t deserve them, and maybe they were right. But I couldn’t stop.

It was a strange mix of love and anger.

I hated her for always wounding us, yet part of me still remembered the times she showed kindness.

Still, she never truly treated us as family.

When it came to money, she would appear—loud, demanding, as if we owed her something.

My dad, being a filial son, would be unhappy to hear me say this.

But I have kept this inside for too long.

The anger, buried beneath the love, has stayed in my heart for more than ten years.

Her words still echo in my mind.

I have tried to forget, but the harder I try, the deeper they carve into me.

Perhaps I do not need to forget.

Perhaps they exist to remind me of what unfairness, favoritism, greed, and selfish love look like.

Now I feel relief that my family, especially my dad, no longer has to live under her control.

She never valued him, but we do.

We will give him the love, peace, and warmth that he always deserved but never received.

They say we need to forgive those who have passed so that they may rest in peace in the other world.

But I am sorry, I simply cannot.

I do hope they move on, and that the ties are finally cut,

so that we, too, can move forward without the weight of the past.

I still wish my grandma peace…

but I also pray she remains far from us in the next life.

The Lifelong Commitment of Having Pets

If I had been taught earlier that having a dog isn’t simple, that it’s not just about feeding, but also about cleaning, bathing, spending time with them, visiting the vet, preventing ticks, spaying or neutering, and so much more, I might have chosen to donate instead. Having a dog is like caring for a baby, one that stays a baby forever.

I truly admire and applaud shelters that dedicate their energy and kindness to caring for these animals.

After all, I made the choice to adopt back in 2017, and I’ll continue to care for them until the end of their lives. To be honest, I do think of giving up sometimes, but my heart doesn’t allow it.

Dear God, please have mercy on us. Let everything go smoothly. Let them live happily and without obstacles. Life is already hard enough. Please be merciful to us as well, as we are truly using all our energy to take care of them.

P/s: I have 4 dogs .below photo , is one of my dogs , who is sick . Next Monday will be her floor up.blood test please mercy to us. 

To the One I Love

 I tremble inside, unsure where to begin,

scared of the storm I carry within.

I know I have hurt you and made you scare,

and each regret cuts deep inside.

When you are  getting sick,

my whole world collapsed, my heart turned weak.

Yet through the wisdom of love I found a way,

to rise again, braver each day.

I do not know when impatience grew,

when I turned inward and away from you.

I thought I was learning to love myself more,

but instead I closed the very door

to the patience, kindness, and gentle care

that you deserve, so loyal, so rare.

The old me was too weak, too small.

I was fed up with being pushed by all.

For years I longed and wished to change,

to break the chains and rearrange.

But when I tried, it twisted wrong,

and what I became feels far too strong.

Perhaps I held it in too long,

and it exploded on you where it does not belong.

I lost my self-esteem and isolated my days.

I spent long years trying to find new ways.

I shaped myself into someone I came to hate,

yet in that hollow shell I felt strangely light of weight,

no longer haunted by the thought I had hurt a soul,

a quiet that cost more than it made me whole.

At times my anger fell on you,

though it hurt me just as it hurt you too.

I promise, my love, I will learn, I will change,

together our hearts we will rearrange.

Give me your trust, do not turn away,

we will rise again, in a brighter day.

Because of my carelessness, you became unwell,

and that is a sorrow too heavy to tell.

I never wished for you to suffer this way.

I beg for your strength with each passing day.

Please God, help her, I humbly pray.

Heal her mentally and physically without delay.

So give me time and trust in me.

I will grow into who I am meant to be.

And when my healing is finally through,

I will love you deeper, brighter, and true.

This is my vow, my endless plea,

to cherish you whole, eternally.

Through storm and trial, loss and gain,

my love for you will still remain.

With patience, kindness, and faith above,

we will walk this life in endless love.

When Thoughts Become a Storm

There is a silent tug of war inside my mind, pulling me in different directions until it leaves me with a headache.

1. Money

Commitments always seem heavier than my income. No matter how frugal I am, it never feels like enough.

2. Dogs

My dogs are my joy, yet also my challenge. Even at 7, 8, and 9 years old, they remain as naughty as ever. I just wish they wouldn’t bite so easily. Despite the stress, I love them deeply.

3. Job

Six years in the same company have left me feeling stagnant. People tell me I’m underpaid, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m wasting more of my life in a place that doesn’t truly value me.

4. Piano

Every day I practice about three hours: scales, Hanon exercises, assigned pieces, my own favorites like Canon in D and Nv Ren Hua, and sight-reading drills. Still, I struggle with playing both hands together. Sometimes I worry all this effort might be wasted. Yet whenever I touch the school piano, I feel a spark of happiness that makes it all worthwhile.

5. Crochet

Crochet is something I truly enjoy. Sometimes I can spend six hours on it without even realizing the time has passed. Yet I wonder, does that mean I’m too slow? At times I lose count of my stitches, which makes the pattern imperfect and forces me to redo parts of it. I get impatient with myself, but even then, I still love the process. Deep down, I hope one day I can turn this passion into a small source of income, even if I haven’t figured out how to begin.

This constant push and pull between negative and positive thoughts is exhausting.

But writing it out, letting the words spill, helps me breathe again. After I rant, something shifts inside. I feel lighter, clearer, and ready to continue my routine.

Piano, crochet, even small attempts at farming.these are not just hobbies. They are seeds, little paths I’m exploring so I won’t always have to depend on my job. Maybe I’ve lost time, but I’ve also woken up to the truth that I need to find my own way.

I don’t know exactly where these paths will lead, but at least I am walking. And maybe one day, things will change.

A long journey: Propagating zz plant (zamioculcas zamiifolia)

i love propagating because seeing it grow gives me joy. the progress is small, but the satisfaction is big. zz propagation is very slow, but it teaches me to wait calmly. it shows me that slow growth can bring real satisfaction 

simple. step by step. short lines. easy to follow.

Oh ya ,there are two method . One is progating though water and the other is though soil. I have try both but I prefer water as I can see its progress 

method A — leaf in water (easy to watch)

1. pick a healthy leaf with its little stalk (petiole).

2. cut cleanly near the base.

3. let the cut end dry 12–24 hours (callus).

4. put leaf upright in a jar with just the tip of the petiole in water. don’t submerge the whole leaf.

5. change water when seeing the water turn cloudy.keep jar in bright, indirect light.

6. wait for tiny roots then little rhizome. when roots 1–2 cm, pot into soil.

tips: if using water, you need to change the water often because it can turn cloudy and cause the leaf to rot. you can also put a little piece of aloe vera in the water, as it helps prevent rotting.

method B — leaf in soil (more reliable long-term)

1. cut leaf + petiole. let dry 12–24 hours.

2. prepare small pot with well-draining mix. make a shallow hole.

3. insert petiole into soil so base just covered. firm gently.

4. water lightly once after planting. then keep soil slightly moist but not wet.

5. place in bright, indirect light.

6. wait for  shoots and rhizomes form slowly under soil.

tips: avoid overwatering. Overwatering will rot.

P/s: most of the time the leaf will eventually turn brown. that is natural. the leaf gives its stored energy to the rhizome. after that, the rhizome can push out a new stem. At first i thought it was dead when the leaf turned brown. but luckily it was not.As long as  rhizome was still healthy, it will soon grow a new stem (green leaf → roots → brown leaf → new shoot).  I also learned not to use a big pot. a small pot works better because the soil dries more evenly and helps the zz root stronger.

care after propagation

light: bright, indirect. avoid long sun.

water: let top 1–2 cm dry between waterings. zz hates wet feet.

temp: normal home temps are fine 

feed: wait until new growth, then light feed once a month in growing season.

pot size: small pot helps root development. don’t oversize.

after years, it grew this big.

this pot, i am not sure which method i used, because i planted three cuttings in it.

this one stayed with me, and the other pot i kept at my dad’s house.

i tried both methods, water and soil, and both were successful.

water propagation is slower, but it still works.

Hope you enjoy whichever method you choose. happy planting.

oh ya, in chinese feng shui, the zz plant is called “fortune tree.” it is believed to bring wealth, luck, and steady growth, just like its strong leaves and rhizomes.

I’m Back After 10 Years

Hello everyone 

It’s been a very long time since my last post in 2014. Life has taken me through so many twists and turns over the past decade, and today I finally feel ready to share a little piece of that journey here again.

The main reason I didn’t blog all these years was because I lost access to my Google account due to an unrecognized device. In 2016 I went through a trauma that carried on until 2022. Because of it, I changed my phone number and eventually terminated the old one in 2019. Without that number, I couldn’t recover my account.

On Sunday, September 7, 2025, I finally managed to get my number back and with it I regained access to this blog. After everything, it feels like a small miracle to be here writing again.

Here are some of the highlights and heartaches from the years away:

1. I owned a dog, but sadly lost her in April 2017. That loss was painful, but it opened the door to something unexpected.

2. I adopted a stray, and somehow that led me to caring for four dogs in total. My house has been full of wagging tails and endless love.

3. I changed jobs twice, and now I’ve been in my current role for more than six years. Honestly, it feels like a miracle to have such stability.

4. One incident that left a mark on me was when I accidentally hit a stray dog. I rushed to get help from a vet, treated its skin condition, made sure it was spayed, and supported its care for three years. Sadly, she later passed away after being hit by a lorry. I cannot count how many buckets of tears I have shed through the years.

5. In January 2024 I started piano lessons. By August I had already reached Grade 2 ABRSM with merit. Now I’m continuing my practice and saving up to buy my first digital piano.

6. Around 2024 I picked up crochet. At first, it was full of trial and error, so I set it aside. But in June 2025 I returned to it and found peace in the process. Sometimes I crochet for six hours straight, yet it feels like only one hour has passed. That’s how much joy it brings me.

7. These years, I’ve also been struggling with migraine. It still comes knocking on my door. For a time, changing medicine worked, but eventually my body got used to it and the doctor had to switch me to another. Now I’m trying not to rely too much on medicine. When the pain comes, sometimes it brings endless tears, but I still want to make changes and not give up.

8. Along the way, I also chose Buddhism as my religion. The reason I got to know it is because my mom fell and was unable to walk for long periods. I started to pray, but at first it didn’t seem to help—maybe I wasn’t sincere enough. Later, I went to a Chinese temple and prayed, and the next day her condition improved. Some may call it a coincidence, but I choose to believe in it and have deep respect for the practice. I also follow Green Tara, a revered figure who embodies compassion and protection. Her guidance has given me strength and a sense of peace through many challenges.

Looking back, these years were full of love, loss, healing, learning, and little miracles. I may have been away from this blog, but life was never quiet.

I’m back now, and I hope to share more of my journey, my hobbies, and maybe some reflections along the way. If you’ve read this far, thank you for being here. 💙