When Thoughts Become a Storm

There is a silent tug of war inside my mind, pulling me in different directions until it leaves me with a headache.

1. Money

Commitments always seem heavier than my income. No matter how frugal I am, it never feels like enough.

2. Dogs

My dogs are my joy, yet also my challenge. Even at 7, 8, and 9 years old, they remain as naughty as ever. I just wish they wouldn’t bite so easily. Despite the stress, I love them deeply.

3. Job

Six years in the same company have left me feeling stagnant. People tell me I’m underpaid, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m wasting more of my life in a place that doesn’t truly value me.

4. Piano

Every day I practice about three hours: scales, Hanon exercises, assigned pieces, my own favorites like Canon in D and Nv Ren Hua, and sight-reading drills. Still, I struggle with playing both hands together. Sometimes I worry all this effort might be wasted. Yet whenever I touch the school piano, I feel a spark of happiness that makes it all worthwhile.

5. Crochet

Crochet is something I truly enjoy. Sometimes I can spend six hours on it without even realizing the time has passed. Yet I wonder, does that mean I’m too slow? At times I lose count of my stitches, which makes the pattern imperfect and forces me to redo parts of it. I get impatient with myself, but even then, I still love the process. Deep down, I hope one day I can turn this passion into a small source of income, even if I haven’t figured out how to begin.

This constant push and pull between negative and positive thoughts is exhausting.

But writing it out, letting the words spill, helps me breathe again. After I rant, something shifts inside. I feel lighter, clearer, and ready to continue my routine.

Piano, crochet, even small attempts at farming.these are not just hobbies. They are seeds, little paths I’m exploring so I won’t always have to depend on my job. Maybe I’ve lost time, but I’ve also woken up to the truth that I need to find my own way.

I don’t know exactly where these paths will lead, but at least I am walking. And maybe one day, things will change.

A long journey: Propagating zz plant (zamioculcas zamiifolia)

i love propagating because seeing it grow gives me joy. the progress is small, but the satisfaction is big. zz propagation is very slow, but it teaches me to wait calmly. it shows me that slow growth can bring real satisfaction 

simple. step by step. short lines. easy to follow.

Oh ya ,there are two method . One is progating though water and the other is though soil. I have try both but I prefer water as I can see its progress 

method A — leaf in water (easy to watch)

1. pick a healthy leaf with its little stalk (petiole).

2. cut cleanly near the base.

3. let the cut end dry 12–24 hours (callus).

4. put leaf upright in a jar with just the tip of the petiole in water. don’t submerge the whole leaf.

5. change water when seeing the water turn cloudy.keep jar in bright, indirect light.

6. wait for tiny roots then little rhizome. when roots 1–2 cm, pot into soil.

tips: if using water, you need to change the water often because it can turn cloudy and cause the leaf to rot. you can also put a little piece of aloe vera in the water, as it helps prevent rotting.

method B — leaf in soil (more reliable long-term)

1. cut leaf + petiole. let dry 12–24 hours.

2. prepare small pot with well-draining mix. make a shallow hole.

3. insert petiole into soil so base just covered. firm gently.

4. water lightly once after planting. then keep soil slightly moist but not wet.

5. place in bright, indirect light.

6. wait for  shoots and rhizomes form slowly under soil.

tips: avoid overwatering. Overwatering will rot.

P/s: most of the time the leaf will eventually turn brown. that is natural. the leaf gives its stored energy to the rhizome. after that, the rhizome can push out a new stem. At first i thought it was dead when the leaf turned brown. but luckily it was not.As long as  rhizome was still healthy, it will soon grow a new stem (green leaf → roots → brown leaf → new shoot).  I also learned not to use a big pot. a small pot works better because the soil dries more evenly and helps the zz root stronger.

care after propagation

light: bright, indirect. avoid long sun.

water: let top 1–2 cm dry between waterings. zz hates wet feet.

temp: normal home temps are fine 

feed: wait until new growth, then light feed once a month in growing season.

pot size: small pot helps root development. don’t oversize.

after years, it grew this big.

this pot, i am not sure which method i used, because i planted three cuttings in it.

this one stayed with me, and the other pot i kept at my dad’s house.

i tried both methods, water and soil, and both were successful.

water propagation is slower, but it still works.

Hope you enjoy whichever method you choose. happy planting.

oh ya, in chinese feng shui, the zz plant is called “fortune tree.” it is believed to bring wealth, luck, and steady growth, just like its strong leaves and rhizomes.

I’m Back After 10 Years

Hello everyone 

It’s been a very long time since my last post in 2014. Life has taken me through so many twists and turns over the past decade, and today I finally feel ready to share a little piece of that journey here again.

The main reason I didn’t blog all these years was because I lost access to my Google account due to an unrecognized device. In 2016 I went through a trauma that carried on until 2022. Because of it, I changed my phone number and eventually terminated the old one in 2019. Without that number, I couldn’t recover my account.

On Sunday, September 7, 2025, I finally managed to get my number back and with it I regained access to this blog. After everything, it feels like a small miracle to be here writing again.

Here are some of the highlights and heartaches from the years away:

1. I owned a dog, but sadly lost her in April 2017. That loss was painful, but it opened the door to something unexpected.

2. I adopted a stray, and somehow that led me to caring for four dogs in total. My house has been full of wagging tails and endless love.

3. I changed jobs twice, and now I’ve been in my current role for more than six years. Honestly, it feels like a miracle to have such stability.

4. One incident that left a mark on me was when I accidentally hit a stray dog. I rushed to get help from a vet, treated its skin condition, made sure it was spayed, and supported its care for three years. Sadly, she later passed away after being hit by a lorry. I cannot count how many buckets of tears I have shed through the years.

5. In January 2024 I started piano lessons. By August I had already reached Grade 2 ABRSM with merit. Now I’m continuing my practice and saving up to buy my first digital piano.

6. Around 2024 I picked up crochet. At first, it was full of trial and error, so I set it aside. But in June 2025 I returned to it and found peace in the process. Sometimes I crochet for six hours straight, yet it feels like only one hour has passed. That’s how much joy it brings me.

7. These years, I’ve also been struggling with migraine. It still comes knocking on my door. For a time, changing medicine worked, but eventually my body got used to it and the doctor had to switch me to another. Now I’m trying not to rely too much on medicine. When the pain comes, sometimes it brings endless tears, but I still want to make changes and not give up.

8. Along the way, I also chose Buddhism as my religion. The reason I got to know it is because my mom fell and was unable to walk for long periods. I started to pray, but at first it didn’t seem to help—maybe I wasn’t sincere enough. Later, I went to a Chinese temple and prayed, and the next day her condition improved. Some may call it a coincidence, but I choose to believe in it and have deep respect for the practice. I also follow Green Tara, a revered figure who embodies compassion and protection. Her guidance has given me strength and a sense of peace through many challenges.

Looking back, these years were full of love, loss, healing, learning, and little miracles. I may have been away from this blog, but life was never quiet.

I’m back now, and I hope to share more of my journey, my hobbies, and maybe some reflections along the way. If you’ve read this far, thank you for being here. 💙

停一停 ,想一想

Bathing g-pigs day(every saturday)

I

.love to see the way he sleeps. love to sleep on my lap every time after bath

ngaku(arrow head-fruit)

First time eat ngaku(arrow head-fruit).the taste is not bad and quite crispy. Thanks to mom for frying it

Change tyre and seal the punctured tyre

This is the first time witnesshow to fix a punched tyre and change tyre.

very memorable  

Seal (on the punctured tyre)

Sayonara my (paternal) grandmother

No red for months especially the processing ceremony 

The need to change my shoe to blue as well

Last gift from my grandmother 

Rest in Peace my grandmother. 

Woohooo..Dong DongChiang ^.^

Chinese New Year is around the corner......hmmm...according to the Chinese astrology, This year = snake year is not a good year to most of the Chinese horoscope. My little advice, If not good, don't take it seriously. If bad things happen, just tell yourself ''tommorrow is gonna be a good day or hai yo,...if you think this year is bad luck ,then whatever bad happen will be bad luck or bad luck won't follow you forever or after all it is not that bad at all if I compare to previous incident''. I always advice myself like that. Mostly I would tell myself '' There must be a reason why it happens"

Stop the crap about the Chinese astrology....

Decorating and helping mom with house cleaning ....love to decorate and set up lighting as well as seeing CNY stuffs that are in red red things/colours......

yeah ...can see fireworks , chinese people wearing red cloths every where, listen to CNY songs, eating all day, helping daddy with prayer,.........

Early wishing
Happy 
            CHINESE NEW YEAR 2013



P/s: leave everything behind first....really dont to get distract at this very moment.